“Battered” by 40 mph winds?

The Met Office has issued a weather warning for Cheshire with Storm Éowyn.

According to some media reports the storm is “set to batter the UK” tomorrow, Friday January 24 and many local schools will be closing their doors for the day.

If you have school-age children check whether your kids will be affected.

Confusingly, it’s just a yellow weather warning for Cheshire.

Wind gusts of up to 40mph are predicted, my Lord 40 mph! Batten down the hatches and tie everything down that might take off under the predicted horrendous conditions.

What’s going on this country? When did we lose the plot? When did it become the job of the media to try and scare the pants of everyone with ludicrous words like “batter”?

The ‘storm’ is forecast to start in the early hours of Friday and peak round midday. We suggest you set your alarm in case you miss it.

Met Office Deputy Chief Meteorologist Mike Silverstone said: “Storm Éowyn will bring a period of very unsettled, potentially disruptive, weather to the UK through Friday and into Saturday. The strongest gusts are likely to be felt across parts of Northern Ireland, northern England, north western Wales and western Scotland, where exposed sites could get gusts in excess of 80mph, which has the potential to cause impacts for those in these areas.

“There will also be some heavy rain, bringing some unpleasant conditions to end the week.”

RAC Breakdown spokesperson Alice Simpson said: “The wet and windy weather brought about by Storm Éowyn will make driving much more of a challenge towards the end of this week, especially for those in the west of England, Scotland and Northern Ireland. Strong winds mean there’s a higher likelihood of fallen branches and trees on rural routes between motorways and A-roads, which can obstruct journeys and puncture tyres if not carefully avoided.

“Drivers also need to be well aware of the buffeting effect of sudden gusts, especially along coastlines and exposed areas where the worst weather is expected. High-sided vehicles are most at risk of being blown off course, but cars can also be affected as they pass lorries on the motorway and are then hit by the wind on the other side. It’s best to keep speeds low and have a firm grip on the wheel to avoid being caught off-guard, especially in areas where heavy rain will affect visibility.”

So for all you snowflakes out there – stay indoors. Everyone else with an iota of gumption – as ever – be careful out there.

For lovers of the nanny state this is the Met Office’s definition of a yellow warning.

“Yellow Warning: Yellow warnings can be issued for a range of weather situations. Many are issued when it is likely that the weather will cause some low level impacts, including some disruption to travel in a few places. Many people may be able to continue with their daily routine, but there will be some that will be directly impacted and so it is important to assess if you could be affected. Other yellow warnings are issued when the weather could bring much more severe impacts to the majority of people but the certainty of those impacts occurring is much lower. It is important to read the content of yellow warnings to determine which weather situation is being covered by the yellow warning.”